Saturday, February 26, 2011

Saturday Centus #43~ You've Got to Give to Receive

Hi all! It's time for Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus. In case you didn't know, this is a writing meme. You can use a prompt provided by Jenny and UP TO 100 additional words to write a story of your choosing in any style of writing you prefer. This week she has given us the prompt: the ATM machine began dispensing twenties.  Hummm this should be very interesting.

now on to my contribution....

Someone once told me "You’ve got to give to receive."

I found a twenty dollar bill while walking home from school one day. Someone wrote "Trust in God" on it with a black sharpie pen. I put it in the collection plate at church and was blessed tenfold.

I smiled.

When I waited tables through college I received a twenty dollar tip. "Trust in God" was written on it with a black Sharpie pen.

I smiled.

So when the ATM machine began dispensing twenties, I bought a black sharpie pen, wrote "Trust in God" on every bill and gave them back to the bank.

I smiled.


Hey, you want to smile some more? Hop on over to Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) by clicking here:


It's Crazy Out There

My husband drove me to a doctor appointment out of town today. All I could say is thank GOD and I am so glad I live in a small town!

The traffic was crazy!

My husband had both hands on the steering wheel  and even turned off the radio. That's was my queue to be the church mouse.

Heck we even turned off our Tom Tom.

I was reduced to pointing left or right because the  mister was freaking out in traffic.

Hey you crazy drivers out there...lighten up!... Where's the fire? ...Slow down!... Be curteous and a let someone change lanes once in awhile!

We rewarded ourselves for making it out of the concrete & automobile jungle in one piece with a rib dinner and a shot of Tequila. And we haven't had a shot since 1982!

Today made me appreciate coming home to a small town.

Four o'clock rush hour here?

Piece of cake!


Friday, February 25, 2011


I don't want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything,

but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

Have a great weekend!~Ames

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Finding Inspiration

These Things I Wish ~by Lee Pitts
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I'd like better.

I'd really like for them to know about hand me down clothes and homemade ice cream and leftover meat loaf sandwiches. I really would.

I hope you learn humility by being humiliated, and that you learn honesty by being cheated.

I hope you learn to make your own bed and mow the lawn and wash the car.

And I really hope nobody gives you a brand new car when you are sixteen.

It will be good if at least one time you can see puppies born and your old dog put to sleep.

I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.

I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother/sister.. And it's all right if you have to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he's scared, I hope you let him.

When you want to see a movie and your little brother/sister wants to tag along, I hope you'll let him/her.

I hope you have to walk uphill to school with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.

On rainy days when you have to catch a ride, I hope you don't ask your driver to drop you two blocks away so you won't be seen riding with someone as uncool as your Mom.

If you want a slingshot, I hope your Dad teaches you how to make one instead of buying one.

I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books.

When you learn to use computers, I hope you also learn to add and subtract in your head.....

I hope you get teased by your friends when you have your first crush on a boy/girl, and when you talk back to your mother that you learn what ivory soap tastes like.

May you skin your knee climbing a mountain, burn your hand on a stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.

I don't care if you try a beer once, but I hope you don't like it.. And if a friend offers you dope or a joint, I hope you realize he is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your Grandma/Grandpa and go fishing with your Uncle.

May you feel sorrow at a funeral and joy during the holidays.

I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through your neighbor's window and that she hugs you and kisses you at Hannukah/Christmas time when you give her a plaster mold of your hand.

These things I wish for you - tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness. To me, it's the only way to appreciate life.

Whittling Away At Our Existence

Space Shuttle Discovery sits on the launch pad. Photo credit Associated Press
 Well this is the last Shuttle launch for Discovery and I am sad. Just two more Shuttle launches scheduled. One more for Space Shuttle Endeavour on April 19th and one for Space Shuttle Atlantis on June 28th.

Some of you may say it is necessary, a waste of money, and a misappropriation of tax dollars. I cannot argue with you on any of it. But it has been a way of life for me and the people that live and die in my small town. Things will not be the same around here. Many of our friends have lost their jobs and homes, and businesses are closing left and right monthly. Not that there was a lot here to begin with, but it’s beginning to look like a ghost town here.

Some say leave. I cannot. It is my home. I was born and raised here, my family is buried here, my child and grandchildren were born here, and I will die here. This place is my roots and I am becoming parched.

So, this morning we decided to get up early and do breakfast out before the mad rush. Boy was that a joke. It’s 8:30 in the morning and you would have thought the circus came to town. People in RV’s and cars parked everywhere. Tents and lawn chairs everywhere. People came into the coffee shop buying $2.00 coffee’s just to use the bathroom, and the launch isn’t until 4:50 this afternoon. That’s crazy!
The traffic was so bad, but we didn’t care. We probably won’t see this kind of congestion for another decade. We just hope our little town will make some money and perhaps prolong the inevitable for a little while longer.

I’ll miss the giant contrail against the bright blue sky, the rumbling of the earth beneath my feet, the rattle of my windows and dishes accompanied by car alarms going off and dogs howling. Who knows, maybe I’ll howl too! ~Ames

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "T" is for Fire Triangle or Tetrahedron

Hi everyone. It’s Thursday. Time for Alphabe~Thursday over at Jenny Matlock’s blog (off on my tangent). This week I had to reach down deep in my "bag of stuff I might need to know later" to find a post. I’ve got a lot of that stuff stored in there and here’s one for this week’s letter "T"

"T" stands for Fire Triangle or Tetrahedron.

Heat, Fuel, Oxygen and Chemical Reaction

Have I already lost ya??

In the world of the Fire Science, this triangle is called a Fire Tetrahedron and it represents the four components that make fire.

Basically the first three components were necessary for burning to take place and it was termed the "fire triangle." Since then they have included chemical reaction which starts getting too in-depth for this post so I will just say that we will do the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) method and only talk about three of the components. I could add a 5th side myself for "Stupidity of others actions" but then it would be a 5-sided Polygon and not a 4 sided tetrahedron.

But if you must know…

Chemical Reaction: Is a process where the molecular structure of material burning is broken down by the heat. The released atoms combine with other radicals to form new compounds which again are broken down by the heat. Thus a chain reaction occurs.

Now back to the fire…

To make a fire you will need one (1) of each of the components of the triangle or tetrahedron.

So Let’s dissect! (I always wanted to say that!)
You will need:

(1) Heat source: Can be an open flame, sun, sparks and arcs, friction (chemical action), electrical energy, and compression of gases.


(1) Fuel source: Can be Gases (natural gas, propane, Butane, hydrogen, Acetylene, Carbon Monoxide etc), Liquids (gasoline, Kerosene, Turpentine, Alcohol, Cod liver oil, paint, varnish, lacquer, olive oil etc.), and Solids (Coal, wood, paper, cloth, wax, grease, leather, plastic, sugar, grain, hay, cork etc).

And then you will need….

The Oxygen source: It only takes 16% of the 21% of oxygen to support burning, and some fuel materials already contain sufficient oxygen within their make-up to support burning.

So let’s make fire…hypothetically…

You pour gasoline (a fuel source) on the open ground (which is surrounded by oxygen) and light a match (a heat source-open flame)

you get Fire!

Throw some wood (another fuel source) into the mix and slap a steak over it and you have…

a BBQ!

Well there you have it! The Basics of a Fire Triangle or a FireTetrahedron.

So before you rush out and start fires (Oh and I didn’t tell you how to do it just in case the Fire Department should ask), the important thing to remember is this: Call 911!

Hey why don’t you check out some other "T" post by clicking here:

I hear they are burning down the house with some smoking hot stories over there!

Just kidding! ~Ames

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Alphabet~Thursday- "S" Stands for Strange Facts

Welcome to another Alphabe~Thursday. This week is about the letter "S" and I thought I’d share a few Strange Facts from my life while growing up in  the South.

Spanish Moss- If you ever venture off the beaten path and drive down oak covered roads you may see Strange long grey stuff hanging from trees. It is an air-feeding plant, not a parasite, and does not live off the trees upon which it grows, nor is it harmful to the trees.  Fact: It is not is a good source of toilet paper. It is loaded with chiggers and that’s all I am going to share on the subject.

 Orange Wine- Strange- If you see a roadside stand selling Orange wine, be very careful. It is not for the faint of heart. Fact: It must age at least one year before you can drink this s**t… uh.. I mean stuff. Let me just say this… my dad made this in our garage one year. He bottled it in Coke bottles.  When it fermented it sounded like gunshots going off in the garage. We were so scared to go out in the garage for fear of losing an eye. Dad included. He waited until the exploding had stopped before sending us out to clean it up. We were stinkin’ silly from the fumes. Most Important Fact: It is highly flammable, burns the hairs out of your nose and gives you the runs. Nasty stuff!
Skunk Ape. Strange. We have a lot of strange creatures in the South. Like the ever illusive Skunk apes. I have heard they stink when they are close by. Fact: Do you think this girl would be out in the swamp at night looking for one of these? Oh H*ll No!
Spook Hill. Strange. If you happen to be in the middle of the State near Lake Wales, there’s a place called Spook Hill. It’s supposed to be a gravity defying hill where your car appears to roll up hill. Fact: It’s an optical illusion. My dad took us there when I was in elementary school. It was one of those 200 mile round trip Sunday drives with bathrooms far and few between. I have astigmatism and couldn’t figure out what the big deal was. And it wasn’t spooky at all. I thought it was stupid actually and was fascinated that so many people drive all the way over to the middle of nowhere to let their car roll down hill.

Well that’s just a few of the Strange Facts from my life growing up in the South. ~Ames

P.S. Stop by Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) and check out some more wonderful "S" stories by clicking here:

Saturday Centus # 42~ Best Friends Do Everything Together!

Hey all! It's Week 42 of Saturday Centus and Jenny Matlock has done it again! Do these ever get easier? This week she has given us the prompt: "I'd catch a grenade for ya." The prompt must be used intact within the story. This week the word count is back up to 100 words and does not include the 6 word prompt. If you are unsure of the craziness that goes on, please stop by Jenny's blog (off on my tangent) by clicking here:

now on to my contribution.....

“Celina sweetie, I’ve been your best friend since third grade!”

"I’ve held your hair back while you called Ralph about a Buick over the porcelain phone."

"I’ve sat on the side of the tub and held your hand while you peed on a stick."

“I’ve walked down the aisle carrying flowers and stood up as your man of honor."

"Hell sweetie, I’d catch a grenade for ya, but please don’t make me watch no screaming lump of flesh shoot out of your ..uh… coochie coo!"

"A man has to draw the line somewhere! I’ll pass out and go blind I tell ya! I just will!"


Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Is Etiquette becoming obsolete?

Does etiquette change with the times?

Who teaches us etiquette? Our parents? Grandparents? Teachers?

Or are we self taught by searching the internet or by reading books?

R.S.V. P.

What does it stand for?

RSVP stands for “ Répondez s'il vous plaît”

It’s French.

And it stands for "reply please" or "please respond".

When it is included on an invitation it means "please let me know if you can come."

Just a simple phone call …"Hello Agnes, I can’t come. But thanks for asking.”

Or an email… "Hi Harry, Just a short note to let you know we are unable to come. But thanks for asking us!"

Or in person…."Hi, Just wanted to let you know we can’t come. We are already committed to other plans. But thanks for inviting us! Perhaps another time."

Or sometimes it’s as simple as checking off a box and mailing your reply in a self addressed envelope already provided by the host or hostess.

Just letting someone know whether or not you will or will not attend is called being courteous. And a little courtesy goes along way. It means having or showing good manners, being polite. It also helps the host or hostess get a headcount of those attending so he or she can provide enough food and drinks or seating for everyone.

So, is following proper etiquette a matter of social acceptance?

When a person delays an answer to an RSVP are they afraid of commitment? Are they waiting for something better to come along?

What are the consequences of not responding?

What are the consequences of not responding to an RSVP and showing up?


No seat?

No food?

Food for thought. ~Ames

Monday, February 14, 2011

They just don't make 'em like this anymore!

Hi All and Happy Valentine’s Day! Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend. Don’t forget to remember your significant other, your honey, the love in your life today. Or you may have some s'plainin' to do!:)

I thought I’d share a few cards that you just don’t see any more. Yep they no longer make these puppies. I could imagine a child being arrested or sent home, if they passed out cards like this!

This one is a little intimidating. I think I’d be moving to another town.
Can you believe this is a Hallmark card??

Butcher humor. Bloody Hell! Yikes!

Ouch! Where's the fun in that! This one is just a little too domineering!

Everybody loves a little cannibal humor. Pass the salt and pepper please. Yuck!

Happy Valentine's Day!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Saturday Centus #41~ Leo Looking for Love

It's that time again. It's Saturday. Time for Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus. This week's prompt is a picture. That's it. A picture. And you can only use 50 words to turn this picture into a greeting card.This should be funny. So if you are looking for some good clean fun, check out Jenny's blog (off on my tangent) by clicking here:

now on to my contribution.....
Leo Looking for Love

I eat meat, I don’t like cat.

I don’t chase tail, I’m not like that.

I don’t howl, or bark at the moon,
or fart or snore or sleep till noon.

Do you want to be my Valentine?

Wag your tail and give me a sign.

My Shadow is on Duty Again

I have a little problem.

She weighs 10 lbs and has 4 inch legs.

She is my shadow.

She follows me everywhere.

And I mean everywhere people.

If she thinks I have organic treats in my pocket, she sticks her head in my pocket.

Is nothing sacred?

When I am at my desk, she sits at my feet and cries until I pick her up.

She watches my every move.

She's watching me now.

If I look at something online, she looks at it too.

She is my office assistant.

When I have had enough being shadowed and tell her to get down, she goes behind my back and takes a nap.

I have just lost my seat and I am now forced to sit on the edge.

No wonder my back hurts.

I have to go lay down now, and drag out the heating pad. 

Sorry I didn't get to your blog tonight.

I'll try again tomorrow, when she is helping sissy hold down daddy so he doesn't fall out of his recliner.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "R" is for Receiving Gifts

A package arrived on our door step yesterday, and came from a State that is far far away.

My dear sweet husband asked “What could it be?”

I said “Why don’t you open it up and take a look see.”

A dear friend of mine has sent it to me, her name is Jenny and these came from her tree.

We both grabbed a Lemon and sniffed the sweet smell. “These were just picked” he said “I can really tell.”

He snatched up a grapefruit, a Navel, then turned back and took two, “I’m making a fruit salad he said “Don’t worry I’ll save some for you.”

Some say it is always better to give than to receive, but I feel it is a blessing to receive and I am grateful. Thank you sweet Jenny for our wonderful, delicious, aromatic box of fresh citrus fruit!
Love and Hugs! Happy Valentine's Day too! ~Ames

Please stop by Jenny's blog "off on my tangent" and check out some great "R" stories by clicking here:

Happy Valentine's Day to All!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Celtic Woman

Yesterday a friend called and asked me if I would be interested in two FREE tickets to see Celtic Woman.

Well yes! Duh!

I was thinking that my daughter and son-in-law would enjoy a date night out but they were both working.

Since my husband wasn’t feeling well and we had already seen Celtic Woman two years ago, I offered them to my neighbor. Her husband poo poo’d the idea of going but said she could go.

So my neighbor and I went to see Celtic Woman last night.

We were treated to Event floor level seats (These were really good tickets!)….

And cocktails in the Mercedes-Benz Star Lounge (Did I mention these were really, really good tickets!)..

And we had a great parking space so close I just couldn’t believe our luck!

Woo Hoo! What a score! What a treat!

And we were so close to the stage I could wave and yell “You hoo, Chloe, we love you!”

And of course she smiled and waved back! At me!

My friend cried a lot. Jeeze Louse. She said the songs and their angelic voices moved her. She was red and puffy so we just had to stop in the Executive Bathroom!

I wasn’t born last night ya know but I have never seen sinks as fancy and new age like that before. Yes we were rubbing elbows with the posh dahling!

I had an awesome time!

Just goes to show ya. Not all things are free in life.

But these Celtic Woman tickets were FREE!!

And wasn't that nice of my friend to offer them to me?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Saturday Centus #40 ~To Spit or Swallow. That is the Question

Hey all. It's Saturday and that means it's time for Jenny Matlock's Saturday Centus. This week is a prompt by yours truly and is bold: It was growing bigger by the minute. Just remember, you can only use up to 100 words (not including the prompt) and No pictures are allowed.

Don't hate me too much. Just have fun with it. But please, please, please be sure to drop by Jenny's blog (off on my tangent) and check out everyone's creative entries by clicking here:

now on to my contribution.....

Our daughter –in-law wanted to host this year’s Thanksgiving dinner. After hosting it for years, I figured I was way over due for a break.

We were so proud of her. She made everything.

There was just one tiny little piece of information she neglected to mention, and I realized it as soon as I took a bite of the Turkey. It was growing bigger by the minute in my mouth and there was nothing to do but swallow. I’d already said grace.

My daughter-in-law is a Vegan.

Looking back I now realize she only ate the veggies last Thanksgiving.


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "Q" Is for..... Ssssh! I've Got A Secret!

It's Alphabe~Thursday and this week is all about the letter "Q". I've totally got this letter covered for sure!
But just in case, why don't you mosey on over to Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) and check out some other quality (get it?) "Q" stories by clicking here:

and now on to my contribution....


 Ssshh! Don’t tell my husband I have been in love with another man since 1990.

His name is Mathew Quigley and he is just d r e a m y!!

He’s a cowboy, an expert with a rifle, he’s tall, he’s strong, he’s a man who doesn’t mince words and he has a mustache! Oohlalah!

I am talking about Tom’s Selleck’s character in the movie Quigley Down Under, one of my favorite western movies.

Okay, okay so I have been in love with him since Magnum PI but that doesn’t start with a “Q” does it?

Well he can call me Crazy Cora and buy me a fancy red dress any old day.

In fact I want to bare all his children.

If I could.

(Ummm let me rethink that one)

Just don’t tell the husband. He may get jealous.

(One can only hope)