Saturday, August 20, 2011

Saturday Centus~ #68 Brussels Sprouts

Welcome to another Saturday Centus. This week Jenny has bumped the word count to 150 plus this prompt: "If I die young"

Now on to my contribution.....
Dear God,
I think I am going to die. Dad says I have to eat everything on my plate or I can’t go to Mary Francis Pitney’s birthday party on Saturday. She’s going to have a water slide, and you know how much I like water slides.


If I die young, will you make me eat Brussels sprouts up there in Heaven? They smell bad, like Grandpa Frank after he makes Jeffrey pull his finger.


Why do grownups have to eat gross things?

Like those smelly (gag) slimey things dad calls elephant boogers? I think they are really called Ory’s Turds. Uncle Robby says there is chicken poop inside Orys Turds. (aackk) Why do you want people to eat things that have chicken poop inside?

“Maggieeee EAT!”


I hate Brussels sprouts, I can feel my throat closing up, it won’t be long now. Do you at least have waterslides in Heaven?


Okaay...I'm gagging just thinking about eating Brussels sprouts. So why don't you head on over to Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) and check out more things that might happen if you die young. You can get to her blog by clicking on this link:

Thanks for stopping by!~Ames


Nonna Beach said...

Hilarious and very well done this !

And just for the record, I love brussel sprouts drenched in butter, as long as I'm not smellin' MY house up cookin' 'um. LOL

CollectIn Texas Gal said...

Oh God!!!Brussels Sprouts break me out and if 'Slimey Elephant Bogers' are boiled okra spears, I'd wash dishes every night for a year to NOT clean my plate!!! (My Dad's punishment for not cleaning one's plate...regardless of whose turn it was). I'm gagging just thinking about it. You are one sick woman...but hilarious...I think we are related!!! said...

This is delightful, Ames! Loved it!
I hate brussel sprouts too.

Daydreamertoo said...

LOL Delicously naughty and funny!
Brussels sprouts ought to have been left right where they were, in Brussels~!
Great centus :)

cj Schlottman said...

Nerd that I am, I like Brussels Sprouts!

I love this funny and very olfactory post. Uncle Robby and Grandpa Frank are hysterical. My brothers always tried to make me pull their fingers, but I was a fast learner!

Thanks so much for your comment on my Centus. I teared up a little when I read it!


Tgoette said...

LOL! I had a bleak outlook for any humorous posts this week given the prompt, but you proved me wrong in a big way! Excellent job!

Dazee Dreamer said...

Ummm, I'm not gagging over the brussel sprouts (never have had them) but those other 2 monstrocity sounding items, puking. puking my guts out. Thanks a lot.

moondustwriter said...

I hate them too - makes me cringe
what a delightful piece

P.S. I am trying to imagine what elephant boogers are ackkk

beckyp said...

great post I love your litle prayer to God Sounds like something I would have prayed as a kid

Jo said...

this gave me a wonderful chuckle, and brussel sprouts are delicious and so are oysters ... i love them both ... you're not saying i have bad taste buds are ya??? Thanks so much for the humour!

Sue said...



PS. Thanks for the chuckle, Ames.

Gems said...

I don't think I have ever asked my kids to eat those things....this is very funny and I could have been that kid!!!!

Gems xxx

Judie said...

Ames, I LOVE brussels sprouts, AND okra! The sprouts don't love me, though. You are such a clever and funny woman! No wonder I like you so much!!

moondustwriter said...

I came back to thank you for the visit and had to read again and chuckle - as a children's writer I take joy in the simple things

PⒿ @ $ € € ₦$ ₣®0₥... said...

You would be heartened to hear how long and how loud I'm laughing right now! HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!

Madge said...

I love brussles sprouts, they're ok if you peel the first few leaves off and stem them, they taste like baby cooked cabages or broccoli. I'm right with you with the ochra tho, only had it once and just about heaved.

Jenny said...

Thanks for the heads up! I shall not serve you brussells if you ever come to dinner!

I loved this post Ames. Your dialogues are always so tight and clever!