Saturday, July 30, 2011

Saturday Centus #65~ If You Can't Take The Heat...Get Out Of The Kitchen

"Yankee? Who the hell are you calling a Yankee?" she yelled.

"You, that’s who."  He slammed down his coffee cup. " I am not eating cereal again for the third day in a row, Claudine."

"It’s too hot to cook!" she yelled back. "I’m not slaving over a hot stove because you are too cheap to buy an air conditioner."

"The deal was Claudine; you cook and clean in exchange for free room and board."

"You want eggs?" she asked. "I’ll fry you up some eggs!"

Claudine yanked open the refrigerator door and grabbed an egg then stomped outside.

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorched.....because...... if Momma ain't happy...ain't nobody happy! :)
Don't tick off the teacher, head on over to Jenny Matlock's bog (off on my tangent) and read this week's Saturday Centus. You can get there by clicking on this link:
Thanks for stopping by.~Ames

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "O"

 Somewhere "O"ver The Rainbow

Join up with Jenny Matlock (off on my tangent) You'll find her at the end of the rainbow if you click here:


Saturday, July 23, 2011

Saturday Centus~ # 64 The Short List


Hey, it's me again.

I am grateful for an easy Saturday Centus this week considering I just threw my back out moving the family room furniture around.


Yes I am one of those bored housewives.

Our furniture has been in the same place for the last seven years.


Rather than go out and buy all new furniture, I thought I'd change things around to spice things up a bit,  just like our Miss Jenny has done this week. She's really slashed the word count. It's down to 15 and the prompt is "Before I die I'd like to....."   As usual it is in bold.

Now on to my contribution. I can feel the pain pill starting to kick in, as evidenced by my self portrait......

Before I die I'd like to

Be skinny again,

See my grandchildren grow old,

Win the lottery,

Write a bestselling novel.

I can't wait to read everyone's contributions this week! You can read them too by going over to Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) You can get there by clicking on this link:
Thanks for stopping by!~Ames

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "N" is for Nose

The nose.

It’s been called many things….


Snot Locker……

Pinocchio….. you get the picture.

A lot of people are born with big noses.

Jimmy Durante had a big nose and he called his the “ Schnozzola”

Maybe that’s were the name schnoze came from.

Karl Malden had a big schnoze uh I mean nose…..oh my,

And so did Walter Matthau. Maybe you remember him from Grumpy Old Men?

And what about Jamie Farr?

Maybe you remember him as Corporal Klinger from Mash?

But hey, women have big noses too!

Like Barbara Streisand. God blessed her with a beautiful voice to make up for that nose.

For sure!

And then there’s Margaret Hamilton.

She played the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizzard of OZ. She also advertised Maxwell House Coffee in 1970 by portraying “Cora” the general store owner who proudly announced that Maxwell House was the only brand she sold.

Do you remember seeing that commercial?

And of course there’s……


Oh yes and then there’s……


Well, I’ll get back to you on that a little later.

For now, here’s some good advice when it comes to the nose:

You can pick your friends,

You can pick your nose,

But you can’t pick your friends nose.


And then there are things you don’t say on a first date:

“Well, here we are. Just the three of us.”




I’ll just leave you with a wise old saying:

Confucius Says,

He who put face in fruit drink get punch in the nose.

The End.

Are you feeling a little bit nosey about all those other Alphabe~Thursday post? If you stop by Jenny Matlock’s blog (off on my tangent) you can catch the entire scoop on the letter “N” by clicking on this link:

Thanks for stopping by!~Ames

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Saturday Centus #63 ~ The Spot

Well look what the cat drug in. We've missed you O crabby one! I guess I should go easy on the poor girl but she's the one punishing us for her computer issues! This time she has slashed our word count down to a meager 25 words excluding this week's prompt: "I'm not getting any younger."  I think she gave us that one because she's feeling old waiting on her internet service provider to get it together.

Regardless of her crabbiness I love a good challenge, so onto my contribution....
The Spot….overnight it came.

To the phone book…..find a Dermatologist’s name.

You’re kidding me! …..Next available appointment is WHEN???!!

Lady, I'm not getting any younger…. I’ll be dead by then!


Don't forget to stop by Jenny Matlock's* blog (off on my tangent) and check out the other sufferings. You can get there by clicking on this link:

*Jenny we have missed you. Do you think you could be nice to us next week? :)
Thanks for stopping by!~Ames

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "M" is for "Mony Mony"

Hey all you groovy kids out there, crank up your speakers and get up from your office chairs and dig the beat of this week's Alphabe~Thursday's letter "M". 

I have selected "Mony Mony" by Tommy James and The Shondells from 1968 for your listening pleasure.

Aahhh the 60's....they were soooh groovy. Does anyone remember the Nehru jacket?

The Nehru Jacket was named after Jawaharial Nehru, the first Prime Minister of independent India. Very popular among well known stars such as Tommy James and The Shondells and The Beatles.

Now I don't care if I am dating myself or not....and I am not really one to be a slave to fashion, fad or not, I think the Nehru jacket was way cool!

I'd wear one today if I could find one!

....and some rose colored glasses!

....and love beads.

Aahhh the memories!

I've included the lyrics for you in case you want to rock on....

Mony Mony
Here she comes now, say, Mony, Mony.

Shoot 'em down, turn around, come on, Mony.

Hey, she give me love and I feel all right now.

You gotta toss and turn in the middle of the night,

And I feel all right.

I say Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah) .........

'Cause you make me feel

(Mony, Mony) so (Mony, Mony) good.(Mony, Mony) ........

Well I feel all right, Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah) ....

Wake me, shake me, Mony, Mony

Shot gun dead and come on, Mony,

Don't stop cookin', it feels so good Yeah

Hey don't stop now. Hey, come on! Mony,

Come on Mony Yeah!

(Yeah) Yeah (Yeah) Yeah.....

'Cause You make me feel

(Mony, Mony) so (Mony, Mony) good.(Mony, Mony) ........

Well I feel all right, Yeah (Yeah) Yeah (Yeah) ...

Ooh I love you Mony, Mo, Mo, Mony .....

Yeah ......

Come on, ....

Hey don't forget to rock on over to Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) and check out some other rockin stories about the letter "M".  She's one groovy chick and you can get there by clicking on this link:
Hey, Thanks for stopping by....Ames

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

I've Got The Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy

Down in my heart
Down in my heart
Down in my heart

I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy
Down in my heart
Down in my heart to stay!
I've got the brightest light in the depths of my heart...

We just got the results of my husband's bone marrow biopsy back today and found out he does NOT have Multiple Myeloma. Yay!

Thank You Jesus!

Hope your day turns out mine! :D


Monday, July 11, 2011

A Little Bible Humor

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?

A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.

Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Hee hee!
Luv ya mean it!~Ames

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Saturday Centus~ #62

Hi all, it appears we are back to a normal Saturday Centus this week. Just 100 words and the prompt given..."and the sign read".

The first thing that popped into my mind was the story below. My own dog "Baby" was a runt. My husband did not want me to buy her. He said she was sickly and would not survive. I told him I loved her, she needed me.

Yes I have had to work hard to keep her going. I had to come home from work every two hours to administer meds because she was hypoglycemic. And she has seizures now and always tries to come to me when one is starting to happen. She is my faithful companion, my loyal friend, my shadow. She is sitting in my office chair with me now.

I am so glad I picked her. I needed her.

and now onto my contribution....


And the sign read...


 Jimmy looked down into the box and saw two scared brown eyes looking back.

“Paw! Come look!”

Delmar walked over and looked down into the box and saw a sickly mutt, a runt. “You don’t want him son, he won’t live long.”

“Paw, the man says nobody wants him. I want him Paw.”

Delmar looked at his sickly son, both legs in braces, now holding the ugly mutt. His heart swelled.

“He’ll need a lot of care son, you think your old enough to handle that?”

“Yes sir paw, he needs me and I need him.”


Please take a few minutes to pop over to Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) and read this week's Saturday Centus stories. You can get there by clicking on this link:
Thanks for stopping by. ~Ames

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Alphabe~Thursday "L" is for Loose Lips

Lord, set a watch upon my lips,
My tongue control today;
Help me evaluate each thought
And guard each word I say.

I really have to work at this. Do you? We all know that loose lips can sink ships and now I have just witnessed what can happen when one remains silent. After watching the Casey Anthony trial for a month I just about bit my tongue and swallowed it upon hearing the verdict. I am in disbelief.

In memory of Caylee Marie Anthony

Please stop by Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) and check out what everyone else has to say about the letter "L". You can get there by clicking on this link:

Thanks for stopping by.~Ames

Monday, July 4, 2011

Free To Be Me

Oh say can you see, my family and me, as we joyously celebrate with pride, the freedoms and liberties we have, in this great country where we reside.

Standing here in my bathing suit, my arms and legs bare, I think of women that would be put to death, if they dressed in what I freely wear.

I am privileged to live in America, the home of the brave and land of the free,

Where God is good and God is great and he most certainly loves me, the fat woman in her bathing suit, looking out across the sea.


Don't forget to stop by Jenny Matlock's blog (off on my tangent) you can get there by clicking here:

Happy Independence Day!

Thanks for stopping by!