now on to my contribution.....
“Celina sweetie, I’ve been your best friend since third grade!”
"I’ve held your hair back while you called Ralph about a Buick over the porcelain phone."
"I’ve sat on the side of the tub and held your hand while you peed on a stick."
“I’ve walked down the aisle carrying flowers and stood up as your man of honor."
"Hell sweetie, I’d catch a grenade for ya, but please don’t make me watch no screaming lump of flesh shoot out of your ..uh… coochie coo!"
"A man has to draw the line somewhere! I’ll pass out and go blind I tell ya! I just will!"