Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Is Etiquette becoming obsolete?

Does etiquette change with the times?

Who teaches us etiquette? Our parents? Grandparents? Teachers?

Or are we self taught by searching the internet or by reading books?

R.S.V. P.

What does it stand for?

RSVP stands for “ Répondez s'il vous plaît”

It’s French.

And it stands for "reply please" or "please respond".

When it is included on an invitation it means "please let me know if you can come."

Just a simple phone call …"Hello Agnes, I can’t come. But thanks for asking.”

Or an email… "Hi Harry, Just a short note to let you know we are unable to come. But thanks for asking us!"

Or in person…."Hi, Just wanted to let you know we can’t come. We are already committed to other plans. But thanks for inviting us! Perhaps another time."

Or sometimes it’s as simple as checking off a box and mailing your reply in a self addressed envelope already provided by the host or hostess.

Just letting someone know whether or not you will or will not attend is called being courteous. And a little courtesy goes along way. It means having or showing good manners, being polite. It also helps the host or hostess get a headcount of those attending so he or she can provide enough food and drinks or seating for everyone.

So, is following proper etiquette a matter of social acceptance?

When a person delays an answer to an RSVP are they afraid of commitment? Are they waiting for something better to come along?

What are the consequences of not responding?

What are the consequences of not responding to an RSVP and showing up?


No seat?

No food?

Food for thought. ~Ames

5 comments: said...

Times have changed. I think people are more rude than ever before. With less and less human interaction because of social networking (email, etc.), there's less of a sense of obligation to others. I also think - as you suggested - people like to hold out for the best option.

Deb said...

I almost did a post about this very thing after I gave my daughter the baby shower but decided against it in case anyone read my blog. I received ONE rsvp so I didn't make very much food. I ended up with a full house and ran out of food. It was embarrassing for me. I did apologize for running out and let them all know in a nice way that I wasn't expecting such a large turn out. I'm sure they didn't get my point though.

Pondside said...

Etiquette is making a come back, but it's so sad that it disappeared.

Ms. Bake-it said...

I had a discussion about this very subject with a fellow blogger a few months ago. We both felt that there has been a serious decline in social etiquette / common courtesy. When I am hosting an event I sometimes follow up with an email to the invitees that have not responded. I usually wait until 2 - 4 days before the even to do so. I should not have to do that, but it saves me from stress and embarrassment if they show up and I do not have a seat or food for them. If I have a repeat offender(s), I do not invite them to anymore events. That may sound harsh, but I feel if they cannot be courteous enough to respond then they do not deserve further invites. On the flip side, it is equally as distasteful when someone RSVP’s and then does not show up. Common courtesy dictates that the invitee makes a quick phone call or even email to the hostess expressing their regrets… something came up… Unless, of course, there was a true emergency and they were unable to call. When I am invited to an event, I RSVP within a day or two of receiving the invite and make sure it is marked on my calendar with a reminder set for a day or two in advance. After the event, I typically send a handwritten note to the host/hostess thanking them and telling them how much I enjoyed the event. Times may change, but simple etiquette should not.

~ Tracy

Curtains In My Tree said...

You can say that again.

Back In the day when I was a child we were taught things like that and always say excuse me when you walk beteween people at a gathering. Aslo a man was always to take his hat or ball cap off at the dinner table. Now days even at church dinners the men keep their hats on,I notice this

Always say yes please and thank you when offered anything to eat or drink at a party. The list goes on and on.

Now who is to blame for all this today The baby boomers for being to leant with their grandchildren? or their children

I hate that here is no respect for anything. Just go to a large public event and listen to our children

Is it just our era of time?
I know etiquette is being taught by some young mothers. It use to be taught at school