Ok, by now a few of you probably know I am not...fond...of snakes! In fact, even though I know snakes are good for controlling the rodent population, to me the only good snake is a dead snake! Gasp...shame..sorry. :(
Well I just finished reading "Fool Me Thrice" posted by Ree at Confessions of a Pioneer Woman and laughed so hard. It brought back a memory I had long suppressed.
I used to work with a man, he was my boss actually, and he would bring a black rubber snake to work (a most realistic looking black rubber snake). When I would least expect to see this snake, it would show up in a most unsuspecting place. I would open a coffee can to make coffee and see said snake and scream and scare the crap out of myself. Ha ha , had yer fun, now everyone can go back to work and cancel the 911 call.
Days, even weeks would go by and no trick with the fake rubber snake. Thank you Jesus. And then bam! I would open a key box and there it was coiled and ready to strike me. Of course I'd scream, mumble a few well chosen expletives, and have to endure laughter at my expense all the while waiting for my heart rate to slow so I could regain composure and save embarrassment. You see, when I am embarrassed (I am a true redhead)...my face turns tomato red. I'm not kidding! And it doesn't go away for hours. Sort of like the blood rushes to my face and turns me into a hideous person. So embarrassing. People would actually gasp when they looked at me and then they would say "Oh you poor dear, are you all right?" Arrrgh!! No wonder I have gray hairs and a touchy heart.
Well, one day I just snapped. After suspecting and finding that little demon spawn snake lurking in a desk drawer, I took the evil little thing into the restroom and lifted the lid and laid the evil little snake perfectly around the toilet bowl and dropped the lid.
Ooooh I can't explain it in words, ...it was just so.... satisfying to see my boss run out of, or shall I say hobble out of, the restroom with his pants at his ankles. Why I didn't know he could hobble so fast! Hee hee hee hee hee (do I sound evil) hee hee hee hee. I couldn't help myself. Honestly I couldn't. :-D
Never saw that pesky snake again!~Ames